A Brand New Day

I had a long day yesterday, filled with meetings, classes, and making sure my husband's birthday was something special. I think I truly felt pulled in all directions, and completely drained by the end of the day. I have realized something this week so far (even though it's only Tuesday). We need to take advantage of any opportunity to serve and love others. Otherwise, what are we doing? I think yesterday was a day of chores and academic ... stuff. I realized that keeping my husband's birthday at the top of the list for the day helped me get through the day with a smile, because I knew that I would be doing something FOR him. Whenever I would lose sight of that and get focused on my needs and my desires, it would blow up in my face. In the same way, the days that I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and truly do the best that I can to serve Him in all I do are much more rewarding. I have not had a quiet time in a while. I've seen my attitude start to change, and shift in ways that I don't want it to. I am meeting with Shawnetta today to catch up and talk about all that has been going on. Also, she's going to probably bring up the praise band for the church. Broadman is starting a new praise band, and they are interested in me leading the band. I am so excited about this change, but I've got to do some praying about it before I make the decision. Part of me would love to lead and take it to that next level ... that would be awesome! The other part of me , however, is saying that I need to step back so I will not put myself in a situation that causes tension or confrontation. I don't want to get to the point where I am frustrated by the attitude, or something like that. I hope that, whatever my decision, it is decided upon through prayer and thought. I do need music back in my life, and to be able to lead again would be a lot of fun. I'll have to ask some other people what they think before I make this decision. I"m starting to feel the tightness in my schedule with school, work, household items, relationships finances, etc. I know God has his hand in everything, but it can be difficult to balance TIME. That is always the issue with us. You can never gain back time. This is something I learned at the marriage conference we went to this past weekend. It was so good that we had the opportunity to go to that conference. I loved learning more about the concepts behind marriage and the need to consider the needs of your spouse, considering they think much differently that you do. I think this experience will help our marriage more than we now realize. It got us out of "the rut". The conference was a great way to change our perspectives from "me" to "him/her". It's so important that I don't get caught up in what I want. We are a team! God is slowly showing me that I enjoy doing household things, and I enjoy making my husband feel comforted and at home. I take joy in it! And that is okay. I still struggle with the word "submit", but I do have a better understanding of what that term looks like when it is played out in a marriage. I am learning so much, and I just have to keep my eyes fixed on HIM.

ChAnGe ChAnGe ChAnGe...

(Posted on Webquest on July 2, 2010) We are on the brink of an exciting fresh start! Starting on August 2nd, my husband and I will be moving to Ohio. I will be starting graduate school and my husband will be starting a campus ministry through the local church as well as the North American Mission Board (NAMB). A lot of change is about to happen. My feelings? My thoughts? I feel … overwhelmed, excited, scared, nervous, ready for adventure, not-so ready for some aspects. I think this move is huge, and will place us in a new environment around new people with new settings and situations. A lot of “new”s there! This doesn’t have to be seen as something bad though. Honestly, I will embrace the change. I am so ready for something new and exciting, it’s coming out of my ears. I feel bad for my husband because I keep talking about how we can make our new apartment fun and exciting. The whole nesting thing is way more important to me than I ever thought! I first have to get settled, then bring on the change! There have been a lot of things that have required us to play the waiting game. It’s been frustrating, but its almost forced us to put those decisions in God’s hands and say ” ya know, as much as I try, I have no idea how this will turn out. There is no crystal ball, there are no psychics that will tell me exactly what our first week in Ohio will be like, let alone the entire first year!” Yes, we have a plan in mind, but it could be nothing like what I am picturing (very likely). There are many things I will have to sacrifice on this end; a huge part of this decision was our parents’ support. I quickly realized that support doesn’t quite mean approval or agreement. It was very difficult for me to make this decision knowing that my parents were not behind me one hundred percent. Especially little ol’ me, the one who couldn’t even buy her first pack of groceries without thinking “would mom see this as saving money?” That still goes through my head at the grocery store. Once I made the dreaded call to my dad saying this was our decision, they have supported us; let me tell you how great of a feeling that is … its been spectacular! Another thing I will be sacrificing is time with my husband. I was pretty busy as a first year teacher, but I could come home knowing that I could spend the rest of my time with my husband (very reassuring). Now, we shall see what our schedules will be like. The good thing is … we’ll be at the same college. So we could meet up every now and then for lunch, or something to that effect. Another sacrifice is family. Being far from my family is going to be a lot harder than I think I have realized. I’ll probably cry a few nights when my head hits the pillow. And tear up when I first hear my mom or dad’s voice. All a part of growing up … I suppose. What’s weird is that I was always a little sad when I got back to school at Appalachian after being home for a while. And I was crazy homesick at camp. I think my parents assume I will just forget to call all the time and almost isolate myself from them on purpose. I think it will be the opposite. I have really and truly tried my best to take advantage of all the family time I can before the move. It’s awesome that they will be coming to Ohio. I’m so happy they will get to see our place and get to see the town. Maybe they will feel more at ease once that happens. All in all, I’d say we are sacrificing comfort (or what we see as comfort). But I truly believe that God purposely places us outside of our comfort zones so we can fully rely on Him. Only then can all we do reflect His glory. It’s definitely worth the sacrifices.

The Little Shepherd Boy

A lot of changes. It is crazy how quickly those changes can come. Throughout this entire process, Puck and I have been trying our best to seek God's will through His word and through the advice of those we respect most. Now that this future is becoming more clear, it is both so exciting and extremely scary. I have no doubt that God will do some amazing things once we get there. It's all of the hoops that we still have to jump through until we reach that point. Today I read a verse in Matthew that said " Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." This verse has helped me with this whole situation; I am such a worrier! But making this decision, minus a few things, was not a difficult one to make once we finally reached the point of PEACE. God has truly blessed us where we are, and we have not missed that. However, we both are so ready to be fully used to reveal God's glory to those who do not know Him. This was truly revealed to me at the UNLEASH conference in Anderson, SC. Being surrounded by leaders in the ministry who were seeking after God's will and ready to find ways to better their churches really inspired me. Perry Noble also said so many things that truly spoke to me, such as "Listen to God, do what He says." Plain and simple. We make things so hard! The Christian way of life is not about making everything easy. Our lives should be lives that reflect God's glory, not our own. This is where we mess up. We are a self-conceited nation ... world! This past week, I have already lost sight of that. Satan knows what Puck and I have in mind, what God has in mind for us. He knows that we are about to embark on a spiritual war for Christ, and he is gearing up. That is one other thing Perry said ... Satan attacks the leader. This is a very real thing. There are so many parts to this move that I know Puck and I cannot do on our own; but I just have to remember that is why we are doing it. Because God uses the little shepherd boys. Not the noble kings. And he sometimes takes you out of comfortable situations and puts you in situations of desperation. Keeping our eyes on God and our feet on the ground; I don't have it all figured out, but that is what I have learned so far. Who would think that we would be doing this? Just shows you that no matter how much we plan ... you never know what God has in store.