It is so weird to think that next May, I will be done at ASU. I don't think anyone is every really ready to move onto the next phase of their lives. Especially not me. I do know that whatever I end up doing after I graduate, it will prepare me for the next phase, and so on. College has really changed my perception of being a 'grownup'. When do we finally reach that point when we actually feel like a grown up? I am 21 years old, and I definitely don't feel like one yet. I have no idea what I'm doing my life; I'm unorganized, confused... a complete mess. I just wonder, do we ever reach that point of contentment in adulthood? Are we ever satisfied with where we are, and what are doing at that point in time? I think the answer is: no. We are always looking either backwards or forwards. Either to the past ("the good ol days"), or the future where we will "have it all together." I am happy with where I am.. I love ASU, and all of the amazing experience I have enjoyed. But have I been content? I don't think so. I think it takes a certain strength to focus on the present, to really take in what is happening as each day unfolds. While this is difficult, it's such a comfort to know that we have a GOD who is faithful, and who is lighting our paths. This light is usually a dim light, that takes effort and focus to follow. But it is there; we just have to look for it, and not be distracted by the things that surround us. I think that is why GOD does not have some tacky bright, blinding light that guides us. Because He wants us to stretch our faith, and to take that leap for Him. He wants to know, just as we do with Him, that we are faithful. He also wants to see that our strength should not only crawl out of us when we are facing an enormous struggle. It should be ever-present, never-failing, unending. A song that really illustrates this is says the following:
"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord."
Strength represents itself through patience, humility, servitude... not only in those times when we feel we should be 'strong'. While it is important to have that strength during difficult times, it is most imperative that we carry it within us every day. And it is that strength that will allow us to be content with where we are and with what we've got. I struggle with this daily, thinking that I have my future partially planned out. That is the problem though... it is not 'my plan' that is important here... at all. This is where submission plays a huge role. Submitting to GOD's: plan, power, knowledge, faithfulness. We must take 'our plans' and throw them out the window in order to truly follow the dimly- lit path that is our constant life journey.
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