take me home...

"[Home] guides us with its wisdom
And takes us by the hand
Pulls us to our feet
And helps us understand
That life is one big lesson
And we must choose to learn
About ourselves and others
And the one we serve. "

Isn't it funny how our pasts have so much to do with where we are going? I've been thinking about where I was a year ago and it is such an eye-opening experience. The episode that I'd like to call "the stupid boy episode" was both an awful and enlightening experience. While I definitely would vote for it never happening, dealing with that kind of hurt made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. Exactly a year ago... I was still fighting the temptation to hang out with a boy that treated me like I was nothing. I was still filled with bitterness, anger, confusion, and... anger. Did I say that already? I was still angry with GOD, angry with myself for believing empty words, angry at the stupid boy, obviously. I was wondering why in the world something like this would happen to me. And now looking back, I realize why. GOD does not deliberately place us in circumstances to cause us pain. Rather, He wants us to constantly learn from our 'episodes'. I know, without a doubt, that GOD was teaching me to turn to Him for security and not some stupid boy. I learned that when you have to force feelings for a boy, it's not meant to be. I learned that I am beautiful in GOD's eyes, and that is all that matters; that one took a while to learn... I think I'm still struggling with the idea of beauty. I also learned that I can tell someone how I truly feel and be strong in who I am and what I have to say. And last but certainly not least, I learned that GOD's timing is completely different from mine; and when you least expect it, He throws something amazing into the mix. I am now happier than I have ever been, with a boy that makes me feel secure, beautiful, intelligent, talented, and important. I don't say this to brag on myself, but to brag about the boy. I have never felt more comfortable than when I am with him. Who would have guessed I would end up here a year later? That I would, after swearing off boys and relationships, meet a boy that makes me smile, no matter where we are, or what time of day it is? GOD works in mysterious ways.. that is for sure. In the end, I would definitely wish for a different type of lesson. But what really matters is... I learned, and grew, and moved on to something that is so much better. Our GOD is a GOD of mystery. I love that.